Love Languages and Your Child: How to Express and Receive Love

As children grow and develop, they begin to understand that love can be expressed in many different ways. Over time, they may start to show preferences for how they like to receive love and how they naturally express it to others

One helpful framework for understanding these preferences is "love languages". Originally defined by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell, love languages are commonly discussed in adult relationships, but they are also a powerful tool for understanding children’s emotional needs and social-emotional development.

Understanding your child’s love language can help strengthen your connection, support emotional regulation, and foster a deeper sense of safety and belonging.

The 5 Love Languages for Children

While every child is unique, five main love languages are commonly recognized. Children may resonate with one more strongly than others, or shift between them as they grow.

1. Physical Touch
   Hugs, cuddles, high-fives, or sitting close together.
2. Receiving Gifts
   Small or big, thoughtful items that show care and intention.
3. Acts of Service
   Helping with tasks, doing something kind, or showing support through action.
4. Words of Affirmation
   Encouraging words, praise, reassurance, and verbal expressions of love.
5. Quality Time
   Undivided attention, shared activities, and meaningful moments together.

Recognizing how your child prefers to receive love can help you express love in ways that feel most meaningful to them.

Why Love Languages Matter for Social-Emotional Growth

Children are still learning how to identify emotions, communicate needs, and express care for others. They may not always know how to show love — or how to recognize it when it’s offered in a way that feels unfamiliar.

This learning process includes both successes and missteps, all of which are important parts of social-emotional learning. Exploring love languages gives children language, awareness, and confidence as they grow emotionally.

How to Discover Your Child’s Love Language

As your child grows and changes, you can continue exploring their preferences by:

• Asking open-ended questions, such as what makes them feel loved and why
• Offering all five love languages in ways that make sense for your family and observing which ones they respond to most
• Using role play with stuffed animals, puppets, dolls, or other toys to find out how your child currently views different love languages
• Noticing how your child shows love to you, siblings, or friends

These observations can offer valuable insight into how your child experiences connection.

Every Family’s Love Language Is Unique

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to caregiving. What works beautifully for one family may look different for another. Parenting is an evolving journey, and it’s okay to adapt strategies to fit your family’s values, routines, and rhythms.

It’s also important to remember that love languages are just one tool among many. There are countless ways to help children understand love — both how to give it and how to receive it.

At Tiny Souls, we believe that what you focus on grows — and nurturing love, connection, and emotional awareness lays the foundation for resilient kids.

Research Represented: 

1. Chapman, G., & Campbell, R. (2005). The five love languages of children. Chicago, IL: Northfield Publishing.