Building Blocks of Empathy: Everyday Ways to Encourage Empathy Development

Empathy doesn’t develop in children overnight. Instead, they move through different milestones and behaviors that help them build the skills needed to show this important value. These “building blocks” often overlap and support one another, thereby creating a strong structure that can support empathy and healthy relationships.^1-3

In this guide, you’ll explore some of these milestones and discover everyday ways to encourage your little one’s empathy development.

1. Emotional Contagion – Feelings Can Be Caught!

At first, children may naturally “catch” someone else’s feelings without fully understanding why. This is called emotional contagion and often starts appearing as soon as in infancy, like when a baby cries after hearing another baby cry. As they grow and begin noticing changes in voice, facial expression, or body language, they may mirror those emotions without realizing it. They might not yet think about solutions or ways to help, but this milestone shows they are starting to tune in to others’ feelings and connect through shared emotion.¹

How it may look:

• Crying when someone they care about cries, without knowing the reason.
• Smiling or laughing when someone else does, even if they don’t know why.
• Mimicking emotion-driven behaviors when they see someone they care about do it regardless of the cause (for example, jumping for joy or throwing a toy when upset).

How you can help:

• Name emotions and connect them to the current situation/moment: “He’s sad because his blocks fell.”
• Notice and label when their feelings match someone else’s.
• Create moments: Play music that makes everyone feel the same way, then say "Look how the music made all of us feel happy together”.

2. Sympathy – Comforting Through Care!

As children grow and gain more experience with their own and others’ feelings, they begin to develop sympathy. Unlike emotional contagion, sympathy involves consciously recognizing that someone else is hurting and feeling genuine concern for them. With that concern, children may start trying to help others feel better through words or actions. Their attempts may not always match what the person truly needs, but often reflect what they’ve seen others do to show comfort and care. Research shows that these efforts highlight children’s growing awareness that other people’s feelings matter and can be supported, even if they don’t yet know the best way to help.^1,4

How it may look:

• Always offering a hug when someone looks upset, no matter the situation.
• Giving their favorite comfort item (like a stuffed animal or blanket) to someone who is crying.
• Using a gentle, caring tone and saying phrases like, “I’m sorry that happened.”

How you can help:

• Praise your child’s efforts to show care, even if they don’t quite work.
• Offer two or three simple choices if your child seems unsure how to help.
• Model different ways to comfort someone, either in the moment or during pretend play.

3. Perspective Taking – Putting Themselves in Others’ Shoes!

As children grow in their understanding of how other people have thoughts and feelings, they may begin trying to see things from someone else’s point of view. This skill, called perspective taking, helps them think about what others might want or need when they experience different emotions. With time and practice, children become more flexible and thoughtful in understanding others’ perspectives and using that understanding to guide their actions, and many adults continue to develop this skill throughout life.² Importantly, this ability often plays a key role in building meaningful relationships, as children learn not to see the world only through their own eyes, but through the empathic act of stepping into someone else’s perspective.

How it may look:

• Accurately communicating about others’: “Brother wants to play with blocks”.
• Noticing and understanding when someone wants to be left alone.
• Suggesting a game or snack that the other person wants, even if it’s not your child’s preference.

How you can help:

• Ask your child how a character in their favorite story or video might be feeling, and then ask how they themselves would feel if they were in the same situation.
• Talk about why people may react differently to the same event.
• Use role play to explore others’ feelings in different situations.

Remember, every child is unique, and what may be the case for one family may not be the perfect fit for another. Caregiving is an ever-changing adventure, so feel empowered to adapt information that resonates best in this resource with your own style and family dynamics.

Research Represented:

1. Geangu, E. (2015). Empathy during early childhood across cultures, development of. In J. D. Wright (Ed.), International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences (pp. 549–553). Elsevier.
2. Wee, S.-J., Kim, S. J., Chung, K., & Kim, M. (2022). Development of children’s perspective-taking and empathy through bullying-themed books and role-playing. Journal of Research in Childhood Education, 36(1), 96–111. https://doi.org/10.1080/02568543.2020.1864523 
3. Simon, P., & Nader-Grosbois, N. (2021). Preschoolers' empathy profiles and their social adjustment. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 782500.
4. Decety, J., Meidenbauer, K. L., & Cowell, J. M. (2018). The development of cognitive empathy and concern in preschool children: A behavioral neuroscience investigation. Developmental Science, 21(3), Article e12570.