Kind Kids 101: Activities to Foster Kindness in Children Every Day

It goes without saying that kindness is a key component of many individuals' ethical values (Reference 1). Rooted in compassion, kindness is typically characterized by an individual’s genuine care and sensitivity towards others’ wellbeing, along with their desire to build out their relationship with others (1,2). Fostering this characteristic, therefore, is a priority for many parents, caregivers, families, and educators as kindness can relate to beneficial outcomes for the children they care for, including better wellbeing, more positive relationships with peers, and increased resilience (3-6).

Although how children understand and express kindness will continue to change and develop throughout their lives, here are some approaches and activities that you can do to help foster this virtue in your child every day (1,2).

1. Tell a story, or read a book, about kindness

Exposure to storytelling can be a powerful tool for helping young children develop a wide variety of skills and characteristics, regardless of whether it is through listening to oral storytelling or shared reading of a physical or digital book (7-10). Research has specifically noted the power of using stories to help children understand and develop their sense of kindness, particularly through conversations that spin out of stories as facilitated by an adult (2,11).

You can nurture your child’s kindness by creating stories yourself that are about acts of kindness or the importance of kindness, or you can read books like Kindness is my Superpower by Alicia Ortega, A Friend by Annette Bley, My People by Langston Hughes, or any other story in children’s literature that you think discusses the theme of kindness in some way. With either oral stories or physical books, opening up a dialogue with your child about how kindness is shown in the story content, as well as how the kindness-based story events relate to the child’s own life, can be a powerful tool to raise awareness of the importance of this characteristic (11,12).

2. Take a mindfulness moment

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, sometimes it is important to take a moment to breathe and reflect (13). This goes for little ones too, as mindfulness exercises, like deep breathing or setting daily intentions, can help them prioritize self-care and aid their cognitive skills, among other positive outcomes (14-16).

This goes for kindness, too! (14) Dedicating time to guide your child in mindfulness and concentration activities, such as meditation, yoga, or reflective exercises centered on sharing, can yield positive results in this area of children’s development. Research indicates that various mindfulness exercises can enhance the expression of kindness in their interactions, as well as help promote children's general prosocial behaviors (14,17,18). Try to take time each day or a couple of times a week to do a guided meditation with your child, do some yoga, encourage kindness-based self-affirmations (i.e., “I have a kind heart”, “I care about being kind to myself others”, etc.) or give them the space to take a few deep breaths.

3. Watch a video about kindness

In the technological world we live in, media can be a great tool for helping children learn new concepts, if it is developmentally appropriate (19,20). With that in mind, research has found that watching videos that demonstrate or model prosocial behaviors, as well as those that are generally created to be educational, can aid young children more than other programs that may not be created with these intentions (20,21).

Co-viewing these videos with your children can enhance their interactions with these kinds of content and, therefore, make the experience even more fruitful (22-25). While screen time, including videos that demonstrate kindness, should have its limits, it is important to note the potential that developmentally appropriate, educational videos can have as an option for helping young children’s development of kindness.

4. Make some music together

Music is an integral part of many children’s development, with even small infants demonstrating a propensity to move with a rhythm or beat (26,27). As they develop, children can utilize music to learn about various aspects of their character, their relationships, and their community, as well as practice ways to express themselves (28,29).

Research has supported musical play with instruments and listening to music about prosocial values as a way to teach young children about kindness, as well as sharing and spontaneous helping (30). We encourage you to listen to one of our many Tiny Souls songs and ask your child questions about how the lyrics can relate to being kind and acting with kindness.

5. Be kind, yourself!

Parents and caregivers often serve as the very first teachers and models for children in how to be kind (6). Whether during play, on the way to daycare, or interacting with another adult, there are a wide variety of opportunities for caregivers to naturally exemplify kindness in everyday interactions (31).

You can be a kindness role-model through pointing out how you chose to be kind, instead of behaving in a different manner, and explaining why you made that decision. You can demonstrate kindness by modeling being understanding and empathetic toward your partner, your older child, your family member, or your friends (6,31). Lastly, demonstrating kindness directly towards your little one can help them more strongly incorporate this value into their own behaviors (32,33).

Research Represented

1. Malti, T. (2021). Kindness: A perspective from developmental psychology. European Journal of Developmental Psychology, 18(5), 629-657.

2. Retnowati, G., Salim, R. M. A., & Saleh, A. Y. (2018). Effectiveness of picture story books reading to increase kindness in children aged 5-6 years. Lingua Cultura, 12(1), 89-95.

3. Diener, M. L., & Lucas, R. E. (2004). Adults desires for childrens emotions across 48 countries: Associations with individual and national characteristics. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 35(5), 525-547.

4. Wang, S., & Tamis-Lemonda, C. S. (2003). Do child-rearing values in Taiwan and the United States reflect cultural values of collectivism and individualism?. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 34(6), 629-642.

5. Layous, K., Nelson, S. K., Oberle, E., Schonert-Reichl, K. A., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2012). Kindness counts: Prompting prosocial behavior in preadolescents boosts peer acceptance and well-being. PLoS ONE, 7(12), e51380.

6. Johnson, M. T., Fratantoni, J. M., Tate, K., & Moran, A. S. (2022). Parenting With a Kind Mind: Exploring Kindness as a Potentiator for Enhanced Brain Health. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 1002.

7. Agosto, D. E. (2013). If I had three wishes: The educational and social/emotional benefits of oral storytelling. Storytelling, Self, Society, 9(1), 53-76.

8. Doyle, B. G., & Bramwell, W. (2006). Promoting emergent literacy and social–emotional learning through dialogic reading. The Reading Teacher, 59(6), 554-564.

9. Mendelsohn, A. L., Cates, C. B., Weisleder, A., Berkule Johnson, S., Seery, A. M., Canfield, C. F., ... & Dreyer, B. P. (2018). Reading aloud, play, and social-emotional development. Pediatrics, 141(5), e20173393.

10. Korat, O., & Shamir, A. (2007). Electronic books versus adult readers: Effects on children's emergent literacy as a function of social class. Journal of Computer Assisted Learning, 23(3), 248-259.

11. Zeece, P. D. (2009). Using current literature selections to nurture the development of kindness in young children. Early Childhood Education Journal, 36, 447-452.

12. Doyle, B. G., & Bramwell, W. (2006). Promoting emergent literacy and social–emotional learning through dialogic reading. The Reading Teacher, 59(6), 554-564.

13. Hanley, A., Warner, A., & Garland, E. L. (2015). Associations between mindfulness, psychological well-being, and subjective well-being with respect to contemplative practice. Journal of Happiness Studies, 16, 1423-1436.

14. Flook, L., Goldberg, S. B., Pinger, L., & Davidson, R. J. (2015). Promoting prosocial behavior and self-regulatory skills in preschool children through a mindfulness-based kindness curriculum. Developmental Psychology, 51(1), 44–51.

15. Flook, L., Smalley, S. L., Kitil, M. J., Galla, B. M., Kaiser-Greenland, S., Locke, J., ... & Kasari, C. (2010). Effects of mindful awareness practices on executive functions in elementary school children. Journal of Applied School Psychology, 26(1), 70-95.

16. Black, D. S., Milam, J., & Sussman, S. (2009). Sitting-meditation interventions among youth: A review of treatment efficacy. Pediatrics, 124(3), e532-e541.

17. Kim, E., Jackman, M. M., Jo, S. H., Oh, J., Ko, S. Y., McPherson, C. L., ... & Singh, N. N. (2020). Effectiveness of the mindfulness-based OpenMind-Korea (OM-K) preschool program. Mindfulness, 11, 1062-1072.

18. Jackman, M. M., Nabors, L. A., McPherson, C. L., Quaid, J. D., & Singh, N. N. (2019). Feasibility, acceptability, and preliminary effectiveness of the OpenMind (OM) program for pre-school children. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28, 2910-2921.

19. Council on Communications and Media, Hill, D., Ameenuddin, N., Reid Chassiakos, Y. L., Cross, C., Hutchinson, J., Levine, A., ... & Swanson, W. S. (2016). Media and young minds. Pediatrics, 138(5), e20162591.

20. Ostrov, J. M., Gentile, D. A., & Crick, N. R. (2006). Media exposure, aggression and prosocial behavior during early childhood: A longitudinal study. Social Development, 15(4), 612-627.

21. Ahammer, I. M., & Murray, J. P. (1979). Kindness in the kindergarten: The relative influence of role playing and prosocial television in facilitating altruism. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 2(2), 133-157.

22. Strouse, G. A., O'Doherty, K., & Troseth, G. L. (2013). Effective coviewing: Preschoolers’ learning from video after a dialogic questioning intervention. Developmental Psychology, 49(12), 2368–2382.

23. Salomon, G. (1977). Effects of encouraging Israeli mothers to co-observe" Sesame Street" with their five-year-olds. Child Development, 48(3), 1146-1151.

24. Strouse, G. A., Troseth, G. L., O'Doherty, K. D., & Saylor, M. M. (2018). Co-viewing supports toddlers’ word learning from contingent and noncontingent video. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 166, 310-326.

25. Rasmussen, E. E., Keene, J. R., Berke, C. K., Densley, R. L., & Loof, T. (2017). Explaining parental coviewing: The role of social facilitation and arousal. Communication Monographs, 84(3), 365-384.

26. Trehub, S. E., Becker, J., & Morley, I. (2015). Cross-cultural perspectives on music and musicality. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 370(1664), 20140096.

27. Zentner, M., & Eerola, T. (2010). Rhythmic engagement with music in infancy. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 107(13), 5768-5773.

28. Küpana, M. N. (2015). Social emotional learning and music education. Sanat Eğitimi Dergisi, 3(1), 75-88.

29. Varner, E. (2020). General music learning is also social and emotional learning. General Music Today, 33(2), 74-78.

30. Beck, S. L., & Rieser, J. (2022). Non-random acts of kindness: Joint music making increases preschoolers’ helping and sharing with an adult. Psychology of Music, 50(1), 17-33.

31. Masterson, M. L., & Kersey, K. C. (2013). Connecting children to kindness: Encouraging a culture of empathy. Childhood Education, 89(4), 211-216.

32. Zhou, Q., Eisenberg, N., Losoya, S. H., Fabes, R. A., Reiser, M., Guthrie, I. K., Murphy, B. C., Cumberland, A. J., & Shepard, S. A. (2002). The relations of parental warmth and positive expressiveness to children’s empathy-related responding and social functioning: A longitudinal study. Child Development, 73, 893–915.

33. Hastings, P. D., Utendale, W. T., & Sullivan, C. (2007). The socialization of prosocial development. In J. E. Grusec, & P. D. Hastings (Eds.), Handbook of socialization: Theory and research (pp. 638-664). New York, NY: Guilford Press.